They’re more grating than great.

We asked advisers what the financial expressions and sayings are that really get all up in their grills (sorry – rubbish phrase!).

We expected a few gentle grumbles about “vertical Integration” or “value chains” but – oh my! – I think we ruffled some feathers, disturbed a hornet’s nest, upset an apple cart and opened Pandora’s Box all at the same time.

You lot are particularly annoyed with terminology used for your potential and current clients among the spending public.

“Mass affluent,” spat David Penney to start us off. And “high net worth” came up several times.

But financial planners also apparently dislike the ways in which various financial strategies are described.

“Decumulation strategy” clearly gets Adam Carolan’s goat, while “protecting the downside” has apparently driven Tom Orchard up the wall more than once.

If you tell your client about “billions wiped off stock market” within Chris Budd’s earshot, he’s likely to get decidedly salty before those billions have been wiped back on.

Whereas, Fiona Sharp will blow a gasket if she hears “turnover = vanity; profit = sanity” again. And whatever you do don’t mention “capacity for loss” when Richard Ellis is nearby.

But, if you really want to annoy an adviser, just use the wrong terminology for the profession or for their business.

“Life planner,” said Victor Sacks.

“Broker,” added Ricky Chan.

“Independently-owned,” chimed in Scott Gallacher.

And, intriguingly, “proper financial planner” will get Richard Allum properly cheesed off. He explained: “It’s the ‘proper’ lot trying to play one upmanship on other planners. Often goes with ‘evidence-based [insert anything]’ to justify something. And, anything with a trademark after it.”

But we’ll end by giving the floor – in fact the *entire theatre* – to Alistair Cunningham, who answered our question by unloading the following chain of gobbledegook (this is actually true – look here if you’re struggling to believe us):

AUM
GAR
GAD
FAD
POS
FOS
NOS
TLA
TLDR;
VAR
GAR (yes again – different)
Bond
Bond
Bond (all different)
OCF
TER
AMC
ZPM
APR
MAY
JUN
WTF?
LOL
ROFL
DVD
DVDA
DVDB
CDO
MBS
NIN
NIИ
FLA
FLC
MP3
MP4
CFP
CFA
IFA
IMC
TLC
Eternal
3AM
KLF
Mumu
VCT
EIS
ISA
LISA
JISA
TISA
Help 2 BISA
NISA

We understand he’s offering a beer to anyone who can decode that lot.

We’ll finish by saying that, if there’s any other financial codswallop that is causing you to blow a gasket, please feel free to download your anxiety on the therapist’s couch that is our Twitter – @Advicefront.

And to Alistair, we simply say – we hope you feel better!

Wish to find what we can do for your business and financial advice process? Book a Demo with us, free of charge.

This article was written with the brilliant help of our dear friends at Foco.